"We approach life with either a positive mindset or a negative mindset." CL Landreth
We all have those moments where we realize how we feel about a person or situation isn't mutual. When this happens, it can throw our entire life into a tailspin. We wonder what we did or said wrong. We second guess everything in our lives and find ourselves trying to pinpoint where everything went off track.
I read somewhere if you are giving love in its purest sense, you will only get love back. The author went on to explain people had asked or stated, "I loved them, and they didn't love me back." The author explains then you aren't giving love in its purest sense—you give to receive.
When we fail to set boundaries in our life, we can feel taken advantage of; Jordan Grey speaks about the power and importance of boundaries in some of his work. I have struggled with this most of my life because showing up allows me to feel fulfilled.
Yet, there has to be a balance between being there for someone in a more consistent way with both sides of the relationship being considered. Otherwise, we will end up feeling hurt, unappreciated, or worse, used if we don't establish boundaries.
The fantastic reality of life is we can shift our perspective at any moment. Although, it isn't easy, and I am not in any way implying it is. It is possible. Here is something that helped me out recently, and I hope it will do the same for you.
If you find yourself in a situation where you feel any negative emotions, try to step back and witness what you feel. When you view your life as an observer, you gain an entirely new perspective. Then remind yourself of this, "Stop resisting the path you have chosen." You see, if you are not happy with where and how things are, you have the power at any moment to change how you view your situation.
For example, if you have shown up for a friend with hopes or aspirations, there could be more and maybe even received some mixed signals, and then when they are over their situation, they move on without you, you may feel hurt or upset. The reality is we have no power over others' actions. However, we do over ours.
If we set boundaries and live within those boundaries, we are less likely to find ourselves in these situations. However, if you stop and realize this feeling of hurt, frustration is actually you resisting the path you chose, then you can see it from the point of power vs. victim.
The net result is the same; they are not in our lives; however, moving forward from awareness and learning is much easier and quicker than that of the victim. So, the next time you feel you are giving more, stop and ask, "Will I resist this path if I continue?"