On A webinar this morning, an executive comment hit home.
“We tend to believe the lies we tell ourselves.”
As I was making dinner, I noticed the brown edges forming on the head of lettuce, and I realized the similarity between the brown lettuce and the statement.
If our internal dialogue is full of what we aren’t and how things never go our way, this is the same as the brown pieces of lettuce. Left unchecked, we begin to see more evidence appearing in our lives to confirm this lie.
However, once you notice the brown pieces of lettuce and remove them, the lettuce will last much longer.
Over time we hear words that can be hurtful; there are moments we feel excluded. Then you layer in internal lies or interruptions of situations, and we begin to be full of doubt and resentment.
I have done this, and fortunately for me and a lifetime of self-awareness books, videos, and journals, I see the pattern and can quickly stop and look inward.
This is the question I ask to realign my messaging.
What lies am I telling myself?
An example of one of them; just when things are starting to go my way, there is a setback. I use my past and a kind of litmus test. What successes can I recall? What setback happened before those successes?
This inward questioning allows me to neutralize my internal self-doubt loop and alter my thoughts and path.
Life is full of ups and downs, and anyone who hasn’t failed hasn’t taken risks. Therefore, failure is inevitable, and a certain amount of doubt and uncertainty comes with it.
So I use my past and the successes in my past to remind myself while the struggle may be real, it doesn’t have to be permanent.
As long as I course correct, I can create a new and better outcome. I also have a fantastic network of friends who can call me on my bullshit and help get me out of my spiral.
CL Landreth
I've heard this continuous negative loop in our heads apply also to our relationships. If we continue with negative thoughts about others we start to believe that it's true based on just one bad encounter or situation. Our minds are so powerful in what we think we ought to be thinking good and kind thoughts about others and especially ourselves.