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What am I getting out of this complaint?



My greatest journey is the one to understanding and awakening my own potential. CL Landreth

A few years ago, I read a book where the author said when we spend time arguing and justifying what isn’t working we end up in essence, “Arguing from your disappointments” That hit home when I heard it to the point I wrote it down on a post it and had it by desk for the longest time.


I am going to be open here. Over the last two-plus years, I felt I didn’t achieve a single goal. My work life was a mess. After standing by a promise to a client, I was written up for the first time in my professional career. This resulted in a career change that ended in losing my job because of the pandemic.


Physically and emotionally I was impacted.I gained weight and went from traveling 40% of the time to not traveling at all. People who had been an almost constant in my life drifted away. I had accumulated debt when I promised myself I would never do that again.


On my morning walk, I was reminded of that quote about disappointments. I have had setbacks over the last two-plus years, yet, I am surrounded by people who encourage me to do my best. I have accomplished things on my wish list and am working on finishing a project I started over 20 years ago.


I realized I had been getting in my own way. I have spent too much time thinking, talking, and working on what isn’t working instead of working with what I have. As a result, I have been coming from a place of lack rather than gratitude.


My question today is:

What am I getting out of this complaint?


If I dig into that question and honestly answer, I have to admit the only thing my complaint gets me is more negative emotions. If I allow myself the time and opportunity to honor my frustrations, I can go deeper with my questioning.


How can I use this to my advantage?


Every moment is an opportunity. I have had setbacks in life; however, I found a way to use the setback.


Tomorrow is a new day, so today, I will make a plan to get back to basics. Begin and end my day with gratitude. Where am I trying to go? Write it down. What can I do today to get closer and take action every day? When I feel frustrated, I remind myself not to invest my thoughts on what isn’t or hasn’t worked and focus instead on what can and will work.


If I change the way I think and act, the results will also change. It all begins with me.


Changeorbechanged.com

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